still uneasy...

...with the new role that I am now carrying at work. I am working hard on the accountability and getting the job done part. The part that I am still struggling with is in terms of fitting in with the higher management, networking (making small talk that seems smart etcetc) and just carrying that sort of persona you know. Ali carries his quite effortlessly. Whilst I am still floundering.

It does not help matters much being such a quick tempered and direct (lacking in finesse coming up in my lbvf this year?) person that I am. I was even sniping away at 2 GM and 1 SGM (SKG Advisor to boot!!!!!) this afternoon. I got fed up with their 'attacks', without even giving my boss a chance to present her case. Unfortunately or fortunately, my remarks was heard by them. I am pretty screwed, huh?

Had dinner alongside my boss, and then she wanted to lepak tepi pantai for a while. Again, I'm not comfortable being with strangers (and non friends), what more a management level at that. Scary.

I think I need a mentor.

Note: we had KPI cascading and transformation away day at Hyatt Kuantan, hence the lepaking tepi pantai with boss.

Blackmailed

I received a warning of sorts from The Princess. She said, "if I die, you and daddy will have no child at all. I'm saying IF here, not that I want it. So when am I getting my younger brothers and sisters?". Blackmail, if I may say so. Talk about parental pressure, right? This one beats everything else, because no other 8-year old child threaten a parent with death in order to have more siblings. Bila dia bergaduh dengan adik-adik dia nanti, I'll be the first one to tell her: "YOU asked for this". I don't have to be mature all the times.... ;)

what is wrong with me?

I have a flourishing career but I find it so hard to be motivated about my work. Let me know how to overcome this. This is getting to be really, really uncool.